Who are these strange little Mindful Delinquents!

Fancy being a Mindful Delinquent?

First and foremost, Mindful Delinquents know they are not perfect. Neither do they want to be … anymore. They don’t practice mindfulness perfectly. They don’t get up at 5 am and sit bolt upright for an hour. They’re a bit lazy and like a lie in. Neither do they meditate sitting by a lake or up a Himalayan Mountain; they don’t live there. They like a good espresso and the smell of diesel too much.

Mindful Delinquents know that for many people sitting down to meditate feels just too hard and, oh dear God, yet another flamin’ thing to add to our daily ‘to do’ list. They know this is perfectly normal and surprise, surprise, not at all uncommon for the stressed, depressed, and/or generally knackered.

Mindful Delinquents hardly ever actually want to meditate, but they know that doesn’t matter, and do it anyway. They’ve learnt to hold their agitation skillfully, with non-judging loving kindness, which transforms their inner experience. Mindfulness works despite themselves. They like that.

Mindful Delinquents like to encourage people by being honest and not pretending that their own meditation or life experience is perfect. They know mindfulness has so many benefits, but they are not up ʼemselves or pious about it. They took an oath never ever to ambush innocent bystanders at bus stops to explain their ‘luminous yet visceral spiritual transcendence’. They don’t do that. Okay, they did it once. But they won’t do it again. Ever.

Mindful Delinquents got the Street Smarts. They know that great relief can be gained by being mindful throughout the day, rather than doing a sitting meditation. There’s an inherent paradox in mindfulness – they see that. They’ve got lots of mindful techniques tucked up their sleeves that allow them to come out of the thinking mind and into the body. They are clever lazy little critters.

Mindful Delinquents are a contrary bunch. They might be rebellious by nature, but they know there is great freedom to be gained through some discipline. Once they got more okay with being still, they found five minutes of regular sitting in the morning resets the mind, taking them from ‘oh crap I woke up alive’ to a more positive ‘how can I make this next 24 hours more beautiful?’ state. Five minutes. They like that. Still time to go to Topshop.

Mindful Delinquents know that any answer as such can only be found within. They got fed up with the futility of trying to fix themselves with things on the outside. No amount of shoes, social media, success, busyness, alcohol, food, natural remedies or even relationships were going to ‘fix’ them or fill that cavernous hole in the soul.

Mindful Delinquents don’t give a monkeys what other people think. They know that taking a midday(ish) lying down meditation for about 20 minutes gives them two days’ worth of energy and focus in one. They’re skilled in a technique called the body scan that brings about such a deep state of relaxation it’s akin to being hit by an elephant tranquilliser dart. They really, really like that.

Mindful Delinquents love the fact that although their own experience tells them something is happening, the science validates this for them. They like that, too. They have trust issues.

Mindful Delinquents know that it’s inevitable that when we do this stuff, we wake up and get to see what’s really going on with ourselves, take responsibility and make wiser choices. They know that even though it secretly feels fun to point the finger at ‘others’, it’s a dumb-ass counter-productive thing to do. They know it’s probably better for ourselves and world peace to take a sniff of our own poop first. They are quite into, you know, emotional intelligence.

Mindful Delinquents love that we can then learn not to judge others so harshly. Unless, of course, they are total twats and deserve it. Ooops. Despite occasionally being on the cusp of bitter, they can see that by turning their perceived adversaries into what’s known as an ‘unreal other’ they are dehumanising everyone involved. And there lies the road to human hell. They don’t want that.

And finally, Mindful Delinquents know that the practice of mindfulness meditation is not a cure-all, a solution to all life’s ills. It won’t grow back a limb or solve your financial problems, neither is it an answer to loneliness and the lack of belonging that so many of us experience (although some annoying bastards do claim to merge with the Divine). It does, however, offer us a way to gently hold physical and emotional pain (that ain’t going nowhere, it comes with the human condition) and then take wiser calmer actions towards having a beautiful day, and a fulfilling and successful life.

Yes, these lovely, oft misunderstood little Mindful Delinquents, though they may have been bashed and battered, they are never beaten. Instead, they turn to the power of love (aka Mindfulness) and experience every day that something beautiful can be created out of whatever is left. They are indeed the bold and the brave and although they have occasionally teetered on the edge of despair, they will never, ever succumb to the darkness!