I had my first panic attack just after my Dad died; I was 22. Until that point, I had never consciously been aware of being fearful. Actually, it wasn’t fear, more like blind terror. In the end, I became fearful of the fear itself.
Childhood trauma sets us up for life with a highly reactive holy shite-house sympathetic nervous system. We are more prone to extreme fear based reactions – why wouldn’t we be?
We can learn new skills of course and practises such as mindfulness, cognitive behavioural techniques, 12 step programmes, good diet, exercise, creativity ……. all make a huge difference and a fulfilling life with meaning and purpose is absolutely possible.
However, recognising that we will periodically get triggered is crucial to coping when it happens. The cells hold memory and it doesn’t require a negative thought or any ‘failing’ on our part to activate our pain-body.
This shit is primal and we can meditate as much as we like, but when certain causes and conditions are in place, we can go right back to the fear and sense of powerlessness we had as a child. This is the very definition of trauma.
So, when Maslow’s-Mother-Chuffing-Hierarchy of Needs are under threat, ie –
– Personal safety
– Mental stability
– Ability to create money
– Secure employment
There are a few mindfulness techniques that can help us …….
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But mostly – remember, you are not alone. When this stuff happens – it’s actually an invitation from the heavens – now is our time to go deeper – to live this life fully – to stop running and find a place of refuge within – and then we can be free. (well, ish…!) xx..
Ps – Well, in case you were wondering where I’ve been lately ….. I’ve been triggered and morphed into a full on Corporal Jones! But …… now I know – it’s okay and it will pass. Xx